5 November 2012 21 Comments

Alone or Lonely

Do you feel alone or lonely? Often we use these words interchangeably yet each has a quite a different meaning. Lonely is when you have a partner, friends, a job you like and a connection to yourself but you feel sad when others aren’t around. Alone, on the other hand, is a feeling of being out of sorts, depressed, anxious, empty, detached and disconnected from the universe. If you had a childhood where you didn’t feel connected to, safe, supported, cherished, uplifted, admired, accepted and validated, you might feel very alone or depressed as an adult. You probably had to shut down a lot of your feelings to survive the isolation because feeling such strong feelings so young would have been overwhelming. And, when you shut down the painful feelings, you also shut out the good ones like happiness and joy. So if you grew up without these essentials you more than likely feel disconnected and empty within your personal relationships, relationships at work and even with the families you’ve created. But you are not crazy or weird. Feeling alone is a NATURAL outgrowth of not feeling emotionally attuned to in childhood and is a problem that can be worked on with much resolution with the right therapist. Life is difficult sometimes but when you feel grounded and connected to your community, partner, family or friends, it is much easier to cope. And, when you feel cut off, abandoned and alone, life challenges often appear insurmountable. So find a therapist to help you out of your detachment and into feeling and connecting–perhaps for the very first time. It’s worth the time, energy and expense. Come and get your life back. And, remember… You are NOT alone. You just feel that way. If you found this helpful, please e.mail me at: nanlcsw@gmail.com or call me to set up an appointment at: 847.491.1111. Feel free to offer my article to others. I do this as a free service to promote relational healing.