12 January 2013 24 Comments

Highly Sensitive Partners

Love can be tricky when you have fallen for a Highly Sensitive partner. Is your significant other upset by loud noises, strong odors and bright lights? Does he or she shy away from crowds? If the answer is yes to many of these, your partner might fit into the Highly Sensitive category. As a rule, these people can be very reactive to situations and people that don’t bother you at all. And you may have trouble believing that life can be so hard for them. But, it is. They are one of the 20% of the population that has this trait as well as an overstimulated and hyper-aroused nervous system. So, they come by their reactions honestly and it is important that you validate their feelings because many HSP’s think they are crazy. Just like any relationship, if you have empathy for your partner and are supportive, you will thrive much more than if you make fun of or try to change him/her. Loving an HSP, although challenging, can also be beneficial to you. HSP’s are blessed with the heart of an empath and a soul that deeply connects to plants, animals and art. Highly Sensitive people are often highly intuitive and creative which makes them able to give you insight and clarity more than the average person. When you are finding it difficult to be patient with an HSP, kindly take a step back and ask yourself, “What do I bring to the relationship that is difficult for my partner?” Perhaps, you are overly-critical, impatient, easily distracted or angry a lot. In other words, find the qualities about you that trigger your partner to get angry, hurt or sad. Then think of what it’s like for THEM to be with you. This should be a humbling experience and, hopefully, will help you see that you are not the only one dealing with a difficult partner. If you found this helpful feel free to e.mail me at nanlcsw@gmail.com or call me at 847.491.1111. Don’t hesitate to offer my article to others. I do this as a free service to promote relational healing.