24 September 2012 22 Comments

Moving On From Divorce Or Separation

Like it or not, when  you’re moving on from divorce or separation, it’s often difficult to get your ex out of your mind.

It is part of the grieving process. But, if those thoughts are particularly fond, you might be using those thoughts as a way to stay connected. Just as people often glorify the dead, you too might be recalling the good stuff as a way to avoid moving forward.

Moving on from a divorce or separation is easier if you recall some of the negative qualities of your ex.–the characteristics that drove you crazy or seemed impenetrable. If that doesn’t work, remember the feelings and thoughts you had just before the relationship ended.

If, on the other hand, someone broke up with you and you don’t have a lot of bad memories, you might ask yourself whether you were really present in the relationship. If the ending was a complete surprise, you might explore why you didn’t even know there was a problem.

Whether you’ve been with someone a few months or many years, it can be scary to move on from a divorce or separation.  It takes time to get back on the horse.  But, if it is taking too much time (whatever that means to you,) you might contact a therapist to help you navigate your new life.  If you don’t figure out what went wrong in previous relationships, you may repeat the same mistakes again and again.  Now is a good time to figure out what a good partner looks like. Feel free to read my article at the top of my home page entitled, “How Not To Date.”

If you found this helpful, please call or text me at 847.491.1111 or e.mail me at: nanlcsw@gmail.com to ask a question or set up an appointment. I’m happy to help you. Feel free to offer my article to others. I do this as a free service to promote relationship healing.